6 Common Signs of Perfectionism

You're a diligent worker who pays close attention to detail. You want to do your absolute best in every task. But have you ever wondered if your high standards have crossed into perfectionism?

Perfectionism is the need to be flawless and without error. As a perfectionist, you obsess over details, double-check everything, and have trouble finishing tasks because there’s always room for improvement. You critique yourself harshly over minor mistakes and imperfections.

The desire to achieve an unrealistic level of excellence can significantly affect your mental health and everyday life. Here are some common telltale signs you are a perfectionist.

1. Difficulty Accepting Mistakes

Making mistakes is part of being human, but errors can be hard to accept for perfectionists. If you find yourself dwelling on small slip-ups or obsessing over imperfections in your work, you may struggle with this. It’s easy to be self-critical, but try practicing self-compassion. Learn from your mistakes and then move on, rather than ruminating on what you did “wrong.”

2. Unrealistic Expectations

Your perfectionism may be reflected in unrealistic expectations for yourself and others. Do you get upset over little mistakes or imperfections? Are you overly critical of yourself and others when things don't go exactly as planned?

Perfectionists often set unrealistic standards that are nearly impossible to achieve in reality. Learn to accept imperfections and mistakes in yourself and others. Focus on progress over perfection. Keep your expectations grounded and be kind to yourself.

3. Trouble Letting Go

You have a hard time accepting imperfections in yourself or in your work. You obsess over minor details and have trouble finishing tasks because you keep tweaking them. For perfectionists, “good enough” is never good enough. You have trouble delegating to others at work or accepting help from friends and family because you don’t think anyone can do as good of a job as you.

Accepting imperfections and having realistic standards for your performance can help overcome this tendency towards perfectionism. Recognizing that minor imperfections are normal and unavoidable can make it easier to finish tasks and let go of unrealistic expectations.

4. Reluctance to Seek Help

Perfectionists often struggle to ask for assistance, even when they need it. Admitting you require help can feel like an admission of failure or inadequacy. However, everyone needs support sometimes, and asking for help when needed is a sign of wisdom, not weakness.

If you find yourself avoiding asking others for input or assistance due to worries about appearing imperfect, it may be a sign your perfectionism is causing problems. The desire to handle everything yourself is unrealistic and prevents you from accessing the benefits of teamwork and collaboration. Learning to overcome reluctance to seek help is an important step towards overcoming unhealthy perfectionism.

5. Burnout and Exhaustion

Perfectionists often struggle with burnout and exhaustion. When you hold yourself to impossibly high standards, you deplete yourself mentally and physically. You never feel you’re doing enough or achieving enough, so you keep pushing yourself to work harder, do more, and improve. This constant self-imposed pressure takes a major toll and leads to feelings of burnout, stress, and fatigue.

6. Trouble with Enjoyment

Perfectionists often have a hard time enjoying life’s little pleasures. You may feel guilty indulging in leisure activities when chores or work tasks are left undone. Your constant self-criticism can make it difficult to fully immerse yourself in experiences. You’re too busy scrutinizing yourself and worrying about how you measure up to really savor the moment.

Rather than embracing enjoyment, your default is to notice all the imperfections. You spot the one wilted petal on an otherwise perfect rose. The slightly off-key note in your favorite song grates on your ears.

I offer perfectionism therapy for people who might feel like perfectionism has taken over their lives. Contact me to schedule an appointment today!